“You need to wake up amongst the scum you reside in”
When my latest Grindr suitor denounced the Hitlers of history, he sounded just like one of them.
Him: Hello fellow American
Me: Hey man. Can I see your face?
[He sends me a picture of himself at a swanky event with three glasses of white wine and one glass of rose wine on the table in front of him.)
Him: What brings you to this disobedient colony?
Me: How cute are you? I’m just hanging out. Are you really American?
Him: My ancestors were Italians
So there you have it
Me: Cool. And you’re in Belgrade?
Him: I’m on government business
Me: I’m a writer soaking up inspiration.
Him: You found the right place — disinspiration
If there’s such a word
Me: What do you mean by it?
Him: Disobedient people, poor and envious
Hard to control them yet easy by force
Me: I have a different impression of Serbs. In general, I like them.
But I’m more inspired by the city than the people. I’m not really a people person. Writers usually aren’t.
Him: Serbs are responsible for an ethnic cleansing unseen since WW2. I really don’t see what it is to like in them.
They are disobedient to our political goals
Me: Look, if I were to hold historic ethnic cleansing against people, I’d hate Americans and Argentines and South Africans. I’ve lived in all three places. It’s been a fact of life and my people (blacks) have suffered greatly because of it. So I do not need a lecture on it from you. Ok?
Him: And a gateway for Russia in the Balkans
Because you need to wake up amidst the scum you reside in
Me: So you are here to preach and pontificate? Not interested. We’re done.
Him: Such a shame. Bye.