Member-only story
Why I Just Can’t Sleep in the Nude
Take it all off and get into bed? Not tonight, dear.
I don’t know how some people do it.
Night after night, they slip into something more comfortable and then slip out of it, climb into bed, and proceed to sleep soundly for eight or so hours — sometimes on their backs! Good God, what are they thinking?!
It’s not so much the uninterrupted sleep that I don’t get, though I never actually get it. I’ve heard some grown people sleep like babies. (Don’t newborns always wake up crying in the middle of the night?) And I can see the appeal of sleeping on one’s back, even if that’s the position most likely to induce nightmares, night terrors, and sleep paralysis after I doze off.
The part of the aforementioned bedtime ritual that has always confounded me is the part where the clothes come off.
Now anyone who knows me knows I’m no prude when it comes to attire. There have been nights when I’ve doffed my top at gay clubs, jumped onstage or on some raised platform where only go-go boys usually tread, and proudly displayed to the crowd what Pilates, strength training, and long-distance running gave me.
There have been nights when I’ve doffed my top at gay clubs, jumped onstage or on some…
