Member-only story
When Goodbye Really Means ‘Have a Nice Life’
Parting cues reveal if people don’t care if they never see us again.
If decades of living have taught me anything about the principle of socializing, it’s this: People find a way to do things they really want to do, come hell, high water, or jam-packed schedules. I’ve known this for sure ever since my friend who is an attorney flew thousands of miles from Los Angeles to Buenos Aires in 2009 just to see me for a few days.
Life lessons also have taught me that not everyone will return my phone calls, emails, or text messages. I usually can see the ghosting coming from a week or more away, before I’ve even made the phone call, written the email, or sent the text message. It’s all in the way they said goodbye the last time I talked to them.
We tend to throw out certain stock sentences when we don’t really care if we ever see or hear from someone again. My sister once said if someone really wants you in their life, they’ll always try to make a firm or even tentative plan to see you or speak to you again before parting.
I don’t always do that, not even with people I do want to see again, and it doesn’t bother me when others don’t. I’ve mastered the art of saying “Goodbye” and moving on without offering platitudinous parting words whether or not I know…
