Queer Eye for the Straight Girl
Why do I love women? It’s never been because of what they’re wearing.
Although I like to think of myself as an overachiever, the best I can be, by Queer Eye standards, my gay sensibility is somewhat lacking. Yes, I love soap operas, the Oscars, Lifetime, lists, and rooms with a view, but try as I might, I’ve never really gotten into show tunes, Paris, Judy Garland, or Liza with a Z.
I’ve always sort of known that I don’t have 20/20 queer-eye vision, but it was confirmed one night about 13 years ago while I was out with a friend in Buenos Aires. He was griping about a mutual friend and his alleged crimes against social and fashion etiquette. It was bad enough that our buddy was high-maintenance, but did he have to be so clueless, too? How dare he not know Chanel from Givenchy, or what Louboutins are?!
I nodded in agreement and held my tongue in shame. I didn’t want to admit it — I didn’t know how to admit it — but he wasn’t the only one. Sure I knew “Louboutins” was the name of a recent failed Jennifer Lopez single, the song she was lip-syncing when she fell on her ass while performing at the American Music Awards in 2009, but truth be told, not only did I have no idea how to pronounce it, but I wouldn’t have recognized a pair of them if they had fallen out of the sky and knocked me upside my…
