I would advise against sending letters to exes, too. (Does anyone even send letters anymore?) I’m a fan of writing it out and keeping it to yourself or putting it on your blog, but big verbal gestures are best done face-to-face or not at all.

That said, I think sometimes people need to do what they need to do, so if that’s the case, just write a short message (five sentences tops) and send it in an email, on Facebook (if you haven’t been blocked), or on Instagram (if you’re not on it, create a temp profile and slide into his/her DMs). Then forget about it. Don’t expect a response, and go on with your life.

I recently took the Instagram approach. I only reached out to say hello. I didn’t make any apologies or even refer to our relationship. He didn’t respond and perhaps never will, but I’m not broken up about it because although I wouldn’t say no to a reunion, I did it more for my own peace of mind than to rekindle anything.

When it comes to past-tense love that’s still kind of present tense, I always say go casual or go home. If your feelings are too intense to go casual, you’re probably not ready to reach out.

Written by

Brother Son Husband Friend Loner Minimalist World Traveler. Author of “Is It True What They Say About Black Men?” and “Storms in Africa” https://rb.gy/3mthoj

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