I see Roland’s diplomacy toward Blanche as an acknowledgment of their relationship, which by that episode was more than employee/employer, and the respect he had for her. It was not the sort of ideological compromise Republicans like to preach about but never actually pursue. They did not meet in the middle, and the a-ha moment of this episode belonged solely to Blanche. Yes, Roland schooled her — and good. She finally realized something she hadn’t over the course of nearly eight years of Confederacy propping. All Blacks have heard Blanche’s song and dance. Blanche, on the other hand, had probably never had a Black person break it down as thoroughly as Roland did. None of the Blacks who sporadically appeared on The Golden Girls ever challenged her antiquated ideals.

Here’s the thing: Blacks understand the justification Whites offer for the Confederate flags, but our objections still stand. Roland was doing what adults who get into arguments with people they care about often do. (It’s sort of how you temper compliments with a “but” to live up to your moniker😀) They make concessions in order to show the person that they care. It’s the equivalent of “I accept your apology, and I’m sorry I reacted so aggressively.” It doesn’t mean he changed his stance at all or learned any valuable lesson about Confederate values.