Everything That Frustrates Me About Gay Men and Race in One Conversation

Sexual racism and racial profiling on Grindr has been more over-the-top in Serbia than in any of the dozen countries I’ve hit in the past year.

Writer’s note: Despite the conversation below and my general frustration with gay men in Belgrade, I absolutely adore the Serbian capital, and I have interacted with some lovely people here. Some I met on Grindr and Scruff, and some I met offline while living everyday life.

None of them have accepted at face value my observations about sexual racism and racial profiling in their country — which has been more over-the-top in Belgrade than in any of the dozen cities in which I’ve logged onto the Grindr grid in the past year. I haven’t spoken to a single local about racism who didn’t initially declare Serbia to be free of it. After hearing me out (and in some cases, seeing screengrabbed evidence), a few have been far more receptive to my point of view.

Sometimes simply listening is the best response one can offer. The Serbian in the conversation below clearly thought he was too brilliant for that. I probably should have expected it after he sent me a photo of himself posing in his first-class airplane seat. Ugh.