What do you say to a friend who wishes he were someone else?

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“Can I talk to you about something important?”

I’ve always welcomed questions from gay men that fall outside the predictable range — “Where are you from?” “What do you do?” “Top or bottom?” — and I’d do anything to help a friend, but I can’t think of eight scarier words in the English language. They’re right up there with “We have to talk.” When has “Can I talk to you about something important?” ever been followed by anything good?

At least I knew my friend wasn’t about to dump me. But after a dramatic brace-yourself-for-a-whopper build-up that had him apologizing in advance over what he was about to say, what he revealed may have been as heartbreaking to hear as “I want to see other people” or “Let’s take a break.” …

About

Jeremy Helligar

Brother Son Husband Friend Idealist Loner Wanderer Hypochondriac Anxiety Survivor Author of “Is It True What They Say About Black Men?” and “Storms in Africa”

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