8 Places To Avoid On Your Next Grindr Photo Shoot
Step away from the bathroom mirror!
First impressions are everything, and that’s never more dead accurate than when you’re on Grindr. With so much competition on the grid, there’s even less opportunity to make a second impression than there is in the real world. That’s why the almighty profile pic is the most important thing you’ll ever post there. Get it wrong and guys probably will scroll right by without bothering to check out your stats, and chances are they’ll never get far enough into your profile to discover your biting wit.
So how do you make a strong first impression among all the nature scenes, headless torsos, and lookalike poses? Well, giving good face helps, but there are already a lot of guys pulling that off on the grid.
The key to a successful Grindr photo might lie less in what you do than in what you don’t do. To paraphrase Shania Twain, whatever you do, don’t try so hard to create “atmosphere” that you end up becoming a cliche.
Rule number one: Strike a natural pose. Better to lead with a straightforward, unfiltered head shot that shows off your best facial assets and screams “WYSIWYG!” (“What you see is what you get!”) If you’re determined to back up your handsome face with atmosphere, think National Geographic (The Grand Canyon in the background never gets old) over those dreaded Grindr standbys. In other words, avoid the following shoot locations…
1. In bed Hint hint? Oh, please. It’s hackneyed and cheesy, the pictorial equivalent of “Your eyes are as beautiful as the stars in the Milky Way.” And a word about pillows: To say the least, posing with your head on top of one is the most ridiculous thing you can possibly do with a camera under the covers (although it does follow the “Only on your back” rule established by Dorothy Zbornak during the first season of The Golden Girls).
2. The gym A hard body is most impressive when viewers can get lost in the illusion that you woke up like that because, well, you were born that way.
3. In front of the bathroom mirror So cliche it hurts. If you must pose in the loo, take a cue from sexy straight women and do it in the bathtub or in the shower. Oh, and make sure you leave the toilet out of it.
4. In first/business class Nobody likes a show off. And anyone who always travels in style never feels the need to document it.
5. In the driver’s seat The natural light might work in your favor, but you’d better be sitting behind your own steering wheel. Everyone hates a photo that lies, and your date might be disappointed when you arrive by train, by bus, or (gasp!) on foot. Why bind yourself to more expectations than all the ones already built into app dating?
6. In an elevator Sure Aerosmith served up a rocking ode to lift love, but that’s meant for two. And despite what Glenn Close and Michael Douglas’s sexy Fatal Attraction lift tryst may have led you to believe, elevator lighting is never all that flattering and neither is the decor.
7. Next to your female bestie If they won’t be on the (sex) date, they shouldn’t be in the shot.
8. Next to your hot male friend Isn’t there already enough competition on the grid? Personally, I’ve never not been disappointed when a guy has had to point out that he’s the one on the right/left.