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10 Things Everyone Loves That I’m Not Really Feeling
Sometimes popular culture feels like a party I wasn’t invited to.
THE BEACH
What kind of Caribbean queen am I? I think I might find baking on the sand more bearable if people didn’t make me feel like such a weirdo for preferring to chill out elsewhere. How about at the pool (in a prime covered, UV-protected spot) … or indoors … or anyplace where I won’t be risking wrinkles and where I won’t end up shedding grains of sand for weeks?
BUBBLE BATHS
For the first minute after my body adjusts to the nearly unbearable hot water, I can kind of understand why people get into them. But by the second minute, I’m just going through the motions of relaxation, thinking about the shower I’m going to have to take afterwards to actually get, you know, clean.
COFFEE
I’ve gone so long without ever even tasting it that, at this point, it’s become a “thing.” Years ago, when I told Aaron Carter about my coffee virginity at a…
